Critical Investigation first draft: Learner response

1) Type up your teacher comments from your first draft - these are your main targets that you must address.

www:excellent use of embedded quotes; very detailed research.

ebi:page references for every quote. sort bibliography-formatting in places -don't repeat sources in works cited/consulted-put websites in order. Other feminist theories e.g Butler and more on wider context - how society changes & why.

Aiming for: 46, level 4

3) Write a numbered action plan of at least five things - ideally one for each of the eight EBIs you received in feedback in your Peer Assessment lessons - that you will do or change for your second draft that will help you get there. 

1. correct all minor errors such as grammar, spelling etc.
2. correct all footnotes and look for page numbers
3. start deconstructing the essay; create flow
4. more research
5. create a a new paragraph on transgender issues 
6. include more on wider contexts
7. Embed more feminist/gender theory
8. Look at more moving image texts

Here is the peer assessment lessons PowerPoint to help you check you've covered everything:

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B64RbqrUb7BqQWR4ei1GMHl1VW8/view